We all play roles in each others' lives. The roles of father and daughter are big ones. But beyond these roles, what we really are is fellow travellers on the journey through this life. The roles of father and daughter can carry the weight of expectation and attachment. But as fellow travellers,we can find a lightness and freedom. The fellow traveller who is in the role of my father is a beautiful soul named Sandy Anderson. He is sweet and kind, open-hearted and courageous. He is supportive, wise, intuitive and loving. He is free-spirited and responsible. I couldn't be more proud to share this journey with him.
It is important to note that this relationship wasn't always light and free. It used to have a lot of pain in it for both of us. A couple of years ago I had some insight and awareness of the burden and pain that expectation causes. Based on this awareness, I made a conscious decision to withdraw all the expectations I put on my dad. From doing this, I could no longer blame him for anything. Instead, I had to take responsibility for myself and look inside at my own issues. I learnt from this that love and freedom cannot flow where there is the heaviness of expectation. Love and freedom get suffocated by the needs and expectations we put onto others. Now when I think of or hear of painful parts of our history, I truly feel no blame. It is so clear to me that everything happened the way it did so that we could both learn. To me, this a relationship that has come to the point of the true flowering of love.